Touched
by Prisoner of Azkaban711
Summary: Written for the Quidditch League Round 11 - Remus struggles to keep his hands off of Sirius, but he has to do it as covertly as possible so that Sirius doesn't catch on. Little does he know, Sirius is wrestling with the same problem. Rated T because I'm paranoid.


Author's note: This is written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition (Round 11) "Top of the Pops"

Task: Write about one line from the given song – Wigtown Wanderers: 'Iris' by The Goo Goo Dolls. My line: "And I'd give up forever to touch you,"

Prompts used: (creature) Dementor, (word) necklace and (word count) 2,319 words

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Whether it was a small brush of his fingers against his hand, a gentle nudge with his elbow or a tender squeeze of his shoulder in a gesture of consolation, wherever Remus could make an excuse, he had to lay a hand on Sirius Black.

Remus found it incredibly difficult to keep himself from laying a finger on Sirius, so he believed he showed a large amount of self-control by only making brief contact. Well, maybe not a large amount…

At dinner, one humid summer's evening, Remus sat between Tonks and Arthur Weasley, so he had to make do with passing Sirius the bowls of steaming vegetables and 'accidently' touching his fingers when he handed them over.

Tonks was animatedly telling him about the necklace that she had bought her mother for her birthday, but Remus took very little of her tale in, as he was too busy trying to catch Sirius' eye.

'Do you have no shame?' he asked himself silently, inwardly cringing at how desperate he seemed to have become.

But Remus was willing to give up everything to be able to look at, and touch, Sirius as he really wished to. To wrap his arms around him and –

'No,' he thought, shaking his head to banish those thoughts from his mind. He didn't have any time for thoughts of Sirius if he were to survive that evening.

"So, Remus," Arthur said, voicing exactly what Remus was thinking about, "you're going out on your own tonight?"

"Yes," Remus replied, sneaking a glance at Sirius, who attention had definitely been captured by the subject area, "I shouldn't be out for too long. Just enough time to make sure everything is clear."

Remus finished his comment with a small smile, but glanced at Sirius again. He had gone back to his food, but wore a thoughtful expression on his face as he ate.

Remus was well aware of the fact that Sirius wanted to get out of the house, and also knew that he had attempted to beg and bribe various Order members to take him with them. Sighing, Remus just silently prayed that Sirius wouldn't ask him, as he didn't think that he was strong enough to say no.

OoOoO

"Remus, please," Sirius begged, dogging Remus' footsteps as he made his way towards the aged front door.

Remus' prayers had not been answered, as he had been ambushed by Sirius almost the second he had left the kitchen. He turned and looked back, glancing sympathetically at his friend. He hated seeing the pleading look that adorned Sirius' handsome face.

"No one would have to know," Sirius continued desperately, stepping across Remus' path so that he could go no further, "I'd be Padfoot the whole time, so I wouldn't be recognised…"

"It's just so risky, Sirius," Remus replied, desperately wishing he could just say 'yes' and have Sirius' company all to himself. He placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder, internally cursing himself for the momentary fluttering of his heart at the touch.

Sirius looked dejectedly at the floor.

"I knew it was a long shot, Moony," Sirius said resignedly, moving out of his way to the outside world, "I just haven't been outside in so long…"

He gave Remus a sad smile before walking back towards the staircase and began to ascend them.

"Padfoot, wait," Remus said suddenly before he knew what he was saying, "I'll take you with me. But no one can see you," he added, checking the coast was clear in all directions.

Sirius' expression changed instantly. He grinned widely and raced back down the dingy corridor. Remus scolded himself; they were going to get into so much trouble for this. But there was no turning back now, as Sirius had already transformed into his Animagus form, wagging his shaggy tail eagerly.

Remus rolled his eyes, before opening the heavy door and slipping out, with Sirius, into the twilight.

OoOoO

The pair walked in the gathering gloom, down side streets around Grimmauld Place, only occasionally encountering other people.

Sirius trotted alongside Remus in his dog form, sniffing the air and generally acting ecstatic at being able to freely walk outside his cage-like family home.

Remus wondered if he could get away with stroking Sirius' back when they next met a person and then mentally slapped himself for even thinking about it. He was becoming obsessive and it was not going to get him anywhere.

They reached the end of the block and turned a corner, continuing past rows of more identical houses. The darkness had descended quickly, covering the night sky in an inky blanket, with little pinpricks of silvery light flickering in the dark.

Despite the lack of light, Sirius seemed to be having a great time. He'd run to about twenty paces in front of Remus and race back as quickly as he could, often skidding on the uneven pavement. At the edge of a small park, Sirius rolled around in the slightly dewy grass, causing Remus to burst out laughing.

They spent around an hour patrolling the area, seeing nothing to cause Remus any suspicion. It was a shame to have to take Sirius back to the place he loathed so much, especially seeing how much he enjoyed being out in the open, but it had to be done.

"Come on, Pads," Remus said, looking solemnly at his best friend, "time to go back."

Sirius' tail stopped wagging and drooped down towards the floor. He hung his head as they continued down the street back towards Headquarters.

Remus led the way down a narrow alley, which shortened the distance considerably, though he wasn't willing to use it if he was alone. With Sirius there, he at least knew someone would have his back.

As he emerged into the wider street again, his breath formed a misty cloud in front of his eyes. He instantly reached for his wand, sensing that something wasn't right on the street they had entered. It had been another hot summer day, so the sudden cold the enveloped them was both a shock and definitely unnatural.

Suddenly, the three street lights lining the street, flickered and died, leaving the pair encased in darkness.

Holding his wand aloft, Remus muttered 'Lumos', and instantly cast a ring of bright light around them.

"Sirius?" Remus asked, holding his voice steady as panic started to invade his mind.

The small growl of acknowledgment from his left encouraged him to stay calm as he took a step forward, in the direction of Grimmauld Place.

A cloaked figure flew unexpectedly out of the shadows, straight at Remus, who jumped at the swiftness of the attack. His wand clattered to the pavement shrouding him in darkness as the spell died. A chill seemed to fly through him, leaving him frozen to the bone. There was no doubt in Remus' mind that there were Dementors.

He looked around, but was unable to see anything with any clarity in the black depths. Without his wand he couldn't see how many there were, let alone defend himself.

Another figure appeared out of nowhere, soaring upwards and directly in front of Remus. He covered his ears as his own screams filled his head, agonising and all too real. He couldn't see a way out of this.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Sirius yelled, casting a dazzling Patronus which illuminated the entire street.

Remus felt a light touch at his waist as the brilliant platinum light burst from Sirius' wand. Sirius had put himself between Remus and the Dementors and was making sure that his friend did not move from where he stood.

They watched as two shadowy figures ascended into the sky, taking the freezing air with them. The street lamps flickered back to life, filling the street once more with an orangey glow.

Sirius turned and gave Remus back his wand, which he'd evidently found on the cracked pavement.

"Are you alright?" he said, hurriedly checking Remus all over, his hand still resting protectively at waist, "they probably weren't after me specifically, but I'm not going to give them the opportunity to find me."

Remus nodded, taking back his wand gratefully. They made their way swiftly back towards Grimmauld Place, keeping their wands out as they went.

They reached number 12 in a matter of minutes, mounting the steps quickly. Remus smiled sideways at Sirius as he pushed open the weighty door and stepped across the threshold.

The smiles died from both their faces as they saw who stood before them in the darkened hallway.

Dumbledore looked disappointed, his eyes showing no sign of their usual twinkle, as he stared at the two men. McGonagall, on the other hand, looked positively livid. Her lips were pursed and her arms were folded tightly across her chest. Her gaze switched between the two men, surveying them like she once had at school.

"Well?" she asked, breaking the silence that Remus was much happier to stick to. Luckily though, he didn't have to say a word, since Sirius couldn't control his tongue.

"Well, what? Last time I checked, getting some fresh air was a free choice," Sirius replied, looking innocently at the older adults.

McGonagall opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off when Dumbledore interrupted her.

"Sirius, can we have a word in the kitchen? Remus, wait outside, please," he said calmly, as he led McGonagall and Sirius into the room at the end of the hall.

Remus watched Sirius follow their former teachers into his own kitchen and waited for his own turn to come.

OoOoO

Sirius lay on his bed, propped up by a number of pillows, attempting to read a book that he'd recently found on one of the many bookshelves inside Grimmauld Place. He had retreated to his bedroom after his lecture, which had involved a great deal of shouting on both his and McGonagall's parts, to attempt to calm himself down by reading.

However, he had found it difficult to concentrate on the printed words in front of him, as his mind was already engaged.

He hadn't seen Remus since entering the kitchen with Dumbledore, but the memory of how his waist felt against his own fingertips was etched into his mind as he sat in the tangle of sheets.

The knock at the door startled him and broke him from his reverie, causing him to drop the tome onto the rich cotton bed throw. Sighing, he regained his composure and swiftly rose from the sunken mattress to see who wanted him.

As he crossed the room, he grabbed his old grey dressing gown from the nearby chair and quickly put it on to cover his bare chest.

Swinging the door open, he was met by Remus, who stood quite awkwardly on the landing outside his room. He too was dressed for bed, wearing a grey cotton shirt and red checked trousers, covered by a worn and clearly well-loved knitted cardigan.

"Hey," he said, looking at Sirius, who was leaning casually against the open door.

"Hey," Sirius replied, silently wondering why Remus had sought him out at such a late hour. He quickly ran his eyes down Remus' body, remembering how he'd felt beneath his fingers.

"I just wanted to thank you, Sirius," Remus said, the words tumbling from his mouth, "I didn't get the chance earlier because you were…"

"… Getting yelled at?" Sirius finished for him, "It was like being a child again. But, hey, don't worry about it. You'd have done the same for me. And thank you, you risked a lot to take me with you. It meant a lot."

Sirius smiled at Remus, trying desperately to keep himself from reaching out to take the other man's hand. Remus smiled sheepishly back at him, moving his feet nervously in front of him.

They stood awkwardly at Sirius' door for a minute, neither knowing what to do, but neither wanting to move away either.

Then, Remus moved so quickly, that neither of them knew what was happening. Remus had leant forwards and quickly touched his lips to Sirius'. He pulled away as quickly as he had started, leaving Sirius no time to react to the sudden gesture.

"I'm sorry," Remus said, blushing profusely as he looked into Sirius' widened eyes, "I don't know what I was –

He was cut off as Sirius pressed his lips against his, quickly wiping any doubt he had from his mind. Remus felt Sirius' strong arms wrap around his waist, pulling him flush against him, as he wove his own arms around Sirius' neck, tangling his hands messily in his long hair.

Sirius pulled away, chuckling at the way Remus whimpered when he broke the contact. The Animagus attempted to take a couple of steps backwards, but was stopped by Remus, who tried to hold him close.

"Alright, don't be so impatient," Sirius said in response to Remus' actions, as he took one arm from Remus' waist, "I know I'm irresistible, but I was just going to invite you in. Or do you want to spend the night in my hallway?"

Sirius winked at Remus, who rolled his eyes at the comment. Both men crossed the threshold just enough for Sirius to close the door and then were instantly back in each other's arms.

"Now that I think about it," Sirius started, surrendering Remus' lips again, "you've been touching me quite a bit, haven't you? The dishes at dinner, for example. And holding my shoulder in the hallway earlier"

He watched as Remus blushed once more, trying to hide his embarrassment, but nodding all the same.

"You are adorable," he finished smiling broadly as he touched Remus' cheek.

Remus was willing to sacrifice the rest of his time on earth, and beyond that, to be able to touch Sirius. But as he stood there in Sirius' embrace, he realised that he didn't have to relinquish anything, because he found that he already could.

 **Word Count: 2,319 excluding Author notes.**


End file.
